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Whatever you do in life, always give 100%…unless you’re donating blood…
I`ve been married to my wife 10 years today. Having sex with just one person in 10 years is pure dedication. I don`t know how she does it.
At church they said the number of the beast is 666, but I stood up and said that`s not my wifes phone number.
I believe in love at first episode.
It`s 2014, people. Isn`t it about time we put an end to all this `wake up in the morning and go to work` nonsense?
I spend more time looking in the fridge than I actually do eating.
There’s really no reason to repeat yourself. I ignored you just fine the first time.
Don`t feel bad, alot of people don`t have talent either
If a vegan does crossfit which do they talk about first?
I may be crazy but I say if you can`t talk to yourself, who can you talk to.
Serving size ?? LMAO
I just had a threesome in the shower with Johnson and Johnson.
There is no such things as ghosts. I know, I asked Santa Claus
When someone rings the doorbell, why do dogs always assume it’s for them?
Sometimes I wish there was a `Build-a-Girlfriend`.