Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
"Kids are great when you need help around the house." - People who don`t have kids
Just want to apologize to all the unlucky men that have had to deal with my ex because I dumped her.
Someone once said that I should always treat other people how I would like to be treated. Now I`m facing sexual harassment charges.
good boys go to heaven bad boys go every where
Do you guys ever get a shooting pain across your body like someone has a voodoo doll of you & they`re stabbing it? No? How about now?
You`re never too old to throw random sh*t in people`s shopping carts when they aren`t looking.
Why is it when people ask you "what three things would you bring with you on a deserted island?" , no one ever replies, "A BOAT"
was on the treadmill for over an hour and I must say it is much easier with roller blades
I have a million dollar idea that I will share with the first million people to send me a dollar.
Me? Stalk? No, I just observe... behind a tree... at night…in the rain.
Destiny may decide who touches your Life. Your heart may decide who touches your Soul. But…Tequila decides who touches your body
With so many things coming back in style, I can`t wait until morals and intelligence become a trend again.
Sometimes I buy huge pants and take a picture of myself holding them up just to feel like I lost a ton of weight.
My box of Animal Crackers said, "WARNING: Do Not Eat if Seal is Broken." I open the box, and sure enough...
Today I saw a girl with the word "Anel" on her butt. I was like, woah..it`s supposed to say "Anal"..it`s spelled wrong then I realized it was supposed to say "Angel". The G was stuck in her a$$crack