Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you wear cowboy clothes, are you ranch dressing?
"Please don`t put a million dumb photos of me on your Facebook... it just annoys your friends" - Every baby
pudding... thats always a funny word
Lazy Rule 47: If you spill water, it will eventually dry.
Dear Alcohol, Will you be my valentine? ?
I`ll just admire you from afar.. Or 500ft. That`s what this paper says.
Here`s a joke for all you mind readers...
My wife told me that her favorite position is when I lay very very still wearing a toe tag and she starts dating again
Look Bruce, just because you call it the "Batcave" doesn`t change the fact that you still live in your parents basement.
Where have you been all my life? Can you go back there?
The Mrs said she we need a "conversation piece" in the living room. I`m thinking taco cart...
People like you are the reason people like me take pills.
I’m not single and I’m not committed… I’m simply on reserve for the one who deserves…
I don`t hate you, but I hope you fall in love and get married.
The plans I make after work are in direct proportion to how much charge I have left in my phone battery.