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Receptionist: "The doctor will see you now." Invisible Man: "Finally, a cure!"
"It seemed like a good idea at the time"............................... An often used phrase in a lot of my memories.
Sometimes I wrestle with my inner demons. Other times, we just hug.
Just found out that I’m 53 Cheetos tall.
Automatic doors make me feel like a Jedi
Party like you will never be invited to another!
keep scrolling… it gets better lol
Smile, it´s the second best thing you can do with your lips.
Juicing changed my life. I went from being overweight, to being overweight and owning a juicer.
The nighttime, sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, stuffy head, fever so I can rest medicine didn´t work. I´m going to try 1 bourbon, 1 scotch and 1 beer instead.
The longer I`m left unattended in the Drs office the more tongue depressors I can lick and put back in the jar..... Just sayin
Girls, dont read this please: Hey guys, isn`t it funny how our wives/or girlfirends really think that we care what they did that day? lol.....it never gets old.
I`m a compulsive liar. Every thing I say is a lie. And that`s the truth.
I don`t care if you wear footie pj`s or sleep with a Snuggie. If you swish Listerine in your mouth for the full 30 seconds, you are BADA$$.
The longer a Woman takes to get ready, the easier it is to piss her off.. it`s Science