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You`re the reason I wake up every morning... Just kidding, I have to goto work.
The lyrics for "hush little baby" are basically saying "I will buy you anything if you just shut the hell up"
I wonder what my dog has named me?
I always try to behave on Friday nights but there are usually too many other options.
Fellas.....the girl on the flyer is never at the club
Paying bills is fun and easy when you have a bottle of wine and a shredder.
I`ve got my wise-ass in my smartypants so I`m ready for anything!
I am a Mother hear me roar.....especially when my kids decide to make a kite out of my granny panties and fly it down the street.
You know what I like about people? Their dogs.
Really close to my perfect target weight. All I need now is one more stomach flu
This beer sure tastes like I`m on vacation next week!
I knew we would be the best of friends when you said drinks are on you
I party like a rockstar. A very poor rockstar who isn`t in a band.
Twice-baked potatoes, refried beans, etc.: Damn, people, cook it right the first time or get out of the kitchen!
Going to make pizza for dinner!! Ingredients Required: Phone, Menu & Credit Card.. Ohhh I can smell it cooking already!! ;)