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Is it hibernation time yet? Because I am 100% into that.
I wish people would consult me before trying to insult me, because I could help them come up with a much better one.
Everyone has their area of expert knowledge.... if any of you need tips on how to do absolutely nothing amazingly well, let me know.
I don`t "get lost". I find creative ways to get places I didnt know I wanted to go.
I see your arguement contains a lot of swear words, you must really know what you`re talking about
Pro tip: Don`t moan when getting a pat down at airport security
The trouble with children is that they´re not returnable.
If you’re happy and you know it, you’re probably exhausting to be around.
Well ... here I am ... cleverly disguised as a responsible adult!
My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember all the things I was suppose to do.
Listening to the voices in my head, I’ve concluded that they’re having more fun than me.
If the liquor store didn`t want me to drink all their alcohol than they never should have put a help wanted sign in the window.
According to the police, public masturbation is not considered a "street performance". Even if you have a hat on the ground on front of you.
I get paid to be nice at work. Not sure why my family and friends expect that for free.
All I know about sex is from Internet Porn, I`ve tried everything except `Buffering`.