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When a guy texts a girl “hey stranger”, what he really means is “I’ve recently thought about trying to get in your pants again.”
The worst part about calling in for a sick day is the pressure of knowing you only have one shot to do the “I’m sick” voice.
Thinks that thinking about thoughts of thinking are too thinkable for thoughts to be thought about thinking, I think.
It’s 2013, why does good food still have calories.
I realized I eat too much fast food so I decided I would start cooking for myself. Does anyone here know how to "mcnugget" a chicken?
How to fall down stairs: Step 1 Step 6 Step 7,8,9,11
Monday must be a man ... It comes too quickly.
Some Facebook friends are like ghost you dont see them but you know their there
I like superheroes but I`d rather hang out with the villains.
Relationships are like just-out-of-the-oven pizza. You know it`s going to burn you, but it looks so good and maybe this time it won`t?
From all these shows I`ve watched it seems like snipers lay down a lot of the day....I`d probably be pretty good at that job.
I dropped my affordable health care because I couldn`t afford it .
You have no idea how funny I am to me.
I`m a little Stressed right now ... Just turn around and leave quietly and no one gets hurt.
If Shakespeare is correct and "all the world is a stage" then I seriously would like to be in control of that trap door.