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Hot Pockets: For when you want every bite to be a different temperature.
Saw a post stating "taking it one day at a time," so I responded "me too. That`s how days work."
I`d hate to be a dragon .....I`d get so pissed tryin to blow out my birthday candles.
Oh I thought it was wait 30 YEARS after eating before you exercise.
Sorry, I can’t today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandfather’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died, and yes, it was tragic.
My new years resolution was to lose 30 lbs by the end of summer... I`ve only got 40 lbs to go.
Don’t be ashamed of who you are. That’s your parents job.
I`m emotionally constipated. I haven`t given a crap in days...
Thanks for posting another selfie. I completely forgot what you looked like 24 hours ago.
A jealous woman does better research than the FBI.
I was hooked on auctions after only going once... going twice
If you no longer know what day of the week it is, it’s time to get a job.
Help I`m covered in chameleons & no one believes me
Getting another set of teeth would be much more useful at age 60 than age 6.
If Shakespeare is correct and "all the world is a stage" then I seriously would like to be in control of that trap door.