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There are no bad pictures. That`s just how your face looks sometimes.
Some things get in the way of my happiness, so I ignore them.
Instead of going to couples therapy, married people should just join tinder and see what a nightmare single people have to deal with.
I`ll just admire you from afar.. Or 500ft. That`s what this paper says.
I guess “Trying to be” isn’t really the answer the doctor was looking for when he asked if I was sexually active.
I`m a lover, not a fighter. So if anyone is giving you trouble and you need me to have sex with them, I`m your man.
The problem with today`s children is that today`s parents are idiots.
"What`s wrong?" "Oh it`s personal" Then, why`d you post it to Facebook.
Girls just wanna have funds.
Word for today: Dipshidiot
Stop picking on Justin Bieber. That`s somebody`s daughter.
It`s the little things in life that count, like pills.
Going through the dealership lot with the salesman, pointing at every car and asking, "what kinda robot does that one turn into?"
Is it ok to ask a very pregnant librarian if she`s overdue?
I’m bored. Anyone need anything avenged?