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FYI: The signs that say "Falling Rocks"....I tried it.....it doesn`t.
Step 1: Remove food from packaging. Step 2: Throw out packaging Step. 3: Dig packaging out of trash to locate cook time, Repeat steps 2 & 3 as necessary
I wish I had a dollar for every dollar I don`t have.
so, on a scale of one is to seven, which letter of the alphebet is your favourite colour?
Sex, do it for the kids.
Why would anybody put 99 bottles of beer up on a wall in the first place?
Nice try "Private Caller", but I wont`t answer even if I know you.
A man typed in search box on Google : “What do women want?”. Google Replied : “We are also searching…”
I hate being bi-polar. It`s awesome.
Sleep is for people with no internet connection.
Roses are red, so is my wine. Refill my glass and I`ll be just fine.
I like to gaze up at the stars at night and think about how somewhere there is intelligent life that hates doing laundry as much as I do.
What if dogs bring the ball back because they think you enjoy throwing it?
Part of me wants to help you with your crisis, but part of me wants to go to happy hour.
At least a stalker is there for you.