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The worst time to need to sneeze is when you’re driving. The worst time to need to pee it when you’re driving and need to sneeze.
I bet Miley Cyrus is eating Twerky right now.
"..::. :.:.. ::...: .:. :.:: ::.: ..::. :: ::.:..." - Stevie Wonder-
So many feelings today. Mostly hunger.
My life is about as organized as the $5 DVD bin at Wal-mart.
SOCIAL WORKER: cop without a gun, judge without a gavel.
One thing I think the world can agree upon… Any day when you can stay in pajamas the whole time is a good day.
If you`re sick and tired of every Asshole on Facebook asking you to copy and paste stuff as your status, please copy and paste this as your status.
Pro Tip: If you are under the age of 35, don`t get married. If you are over 35, don`t get married. If you are 35, don`t get married.
you know you`ve been facebooking too much when you accidentally say "LOL", in person...
Since it is the day to give thanks, I would like to say once again...you`re welcome.
*Sees my name in a math textbook* class: *stares at me* me: "yeah b!tches I bought 60 watermelons"
I am NOT high maintenance, I simply have more preferences than most.
Look, here’s the deal: If you’re into immature, sexually compulsive men who drink too much and need to be the center of attention at all times, you are going to find me very attractive.
There should be reality show where 16 congressmen are forced to take jobs in the private sector.