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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I`m going to be very disappointed if I go to England and nobody skips to the loo.
Sure I have my doubts, but Bigfoot doesn’t have any pictures of me either.
In terms of procrastination, I had a very productive day.
Please respect the revolving door speed that has already been established.
If you`ve lost your appetite today, I think I have it.
My husband told me that in some cultures women do all the housework, so I told him in some cultures blow jobs don`t exist. He`s vacuuming
I have reliable inside information about Apple`s next product. I will not be able to afford it.
My door bell is a recording of a shotgun being racked.
Who decided that we should sit together in groups while we chew food?
I`ll never forget the first time I saw a dry erase board, "Wow" I thought, "that`s remarkable"
I bet my road rage will be taken seriously once I get a car.
It is amazing how quickly kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawnmower, dishwasher, or vacuum cleaner.
After spending the last week stealing cars and killing people I just found out GTA had missions.
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody`s there to appreciate it.
I went by the Gym today. Its the third time this week............. One of these day`s I might actually go in.