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My first mistake was thinking she couldn`t hit a moving target.
Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
Yeah, you go ahead and climb that mountain "because it`s there", I am going to eat this Pizza "because it`s here"................................
Make Tomorrow More Fun: Unplug the copier at work & put a sign on it that says “now voice activated!” Sit back & watch the magic unfold
The trouble with children is that they´re not returnable.
To all the NSA agents reading this right now, I just want to say sorry that my life is so boring.
When a girl says she wants you to splurge on her, calm down, it`s not what you think...
Anyone notice the irony behind “hyphenated” and “non-hyphenated”?
Girl Scout cookie season is scientifically timed to occur just as people are giving up on their New Year`s resolutions.
If you`re not afraid when someone is flipping through the photos on your phone then you`re probably boring.
If he remembers your eye color after the first date, then you probably have small boobs
I`m no super genius, but I bet the most effective way to lose "baby weight" is to have the baby.
I really would love to see two mimes arguing
The squirrels must be gathering nuts. Three of my neighbors have disappeared.