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My boss said we needed to find ways to save time and be more productive, so I just moved the coffee maker to my desk
I don`t know what everyone`s complaining about. The economy looks great from my parents` basement.
?-- that guy is cute ?
If you can`t think of a word, say "I forget the English word for it". That way people will think you`re bilingual instead of an idiot.
I’m still waiting for the episode of Storage Wars where there’s a homeless guy living in the unit.
I relate to Game of Thrones because much like my own life, I have no idea what’s going on and there’s a lot of wine drinking.
I fail to understand the ‘good’ part of ‘good morning’
You know you are getting old when people keep telling you how young you look.
My wife always laughs during sex – no matter what she’s reading.
Is it "poon tang", or "poontang"? I`m trying to update my Christian Mingle profile.
Thanks to Netflix I can tell my doctor I`ve done a lot of "marathons"
Expect nothing and you`ll be impressed every day.
My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It`s called lunch.
I`ll admit I`m not perfect but what did the horse I rode in on do?
Please be patient...I`m fcuking things up as fast as I can.