Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`ve found that the best web designers in the world are spiders.
I`m looking for a new personal trainer, the last one didn`t work out
What`s the difference between "Ooooo" and "Ahhh"? About 3 inches.
Has anyone EVER checked to see how the room or wall behind them looks before taking and posting 50 selfies?!
Proposing to a woman isn’t like choosing a life-long business partner. It’s more like hiring your own boss.
I just awesomed all over the place.
I`d say 20% of my day is spent trying to convince the dog we`re not about to be murdered by the UPS guy, mailman, squirrels, or the ice dispenser..
Pick a woman with wits. Wits will never sag.
"2 weeks with my baby xoxoxo" lol,calm down romeo&juliet.
I`d like to apologize for getting drunk and making an ass of myself at your Christmas party next week...
Hating people takes too much energy. I just pretend they`re dead
People are like slinkeys; they don’t really serve a purpose, but you can’t help but laugh when one of them falls down the stairs.
Would you like to save money on your car insurance? Walk ... Just sayin
“Let’s eat, get drunk and watch people exercise” – sports fans
Falling out of bed the fun way. Oh wait, there isn`t a fun way....