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It doesn`t matter whether the glass is half empty or half full. There`s clearly room for more Alcohol
The cashier at the dollar store told me to have a good day. Like my purchase of shelf liner suggested any other plan.
if there wasn´t a last minute I´d never get anything done.
My Therapist told me not to drink while I`m on my Meds but little does she know...I`ve been off my Meds for almost a week now!
"Should I add more liquor?" is the most ridiculous question I`ve ever been asked.
I don’t like people who can’t make fun of themselves. It just makes more work for me.
The next time you feel you’re worthless…. just remember…. your organs are worth a LOT of money on the black market.
I wish I could have the Price Is Right audience around whenever I`m making important life decisions.
I`ve seen more pins in the last few days then stone cold steve austin on groundhog day..
Therapy has taught me that it is all your fault.
Well, all I have to say is TGIF. (Post this on any day but Friday to get comments)
I once dated a Rockette with Tourette`s. Talk about kicking and screaming!
I`m trying to be healthy and grow my own food but I can`t find any Twinkie seeds.
believes saying "hi" with a big smile can brighten anyone´s day ... even those who give you the middle finger for cutting them off in traffic.
President Donald Trump will sign an executive order tomorrow to bring back Pluto as a planet. Make the universe GREAT again.