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if money grew of trees, girls would be dating monkeys
Walmart: the only place on Earth you can get a haircut, eye exam, ice cream sandwich, tires for your car, and witness a real life "what not to wear" episode.
I was told today to look at my life from a different perspective. I`m lying on the floor now and the shit still looks f*cked up.
It must really suck to take life so seriously that you can’t enjoy it.
You know what bothers me? When people assume you`re homeless cause you`re asleep on the street and your pants are gone..
Where there`s a will I want to be in it
I’m surprised more people don’t Photoshop a cleaner house into the background of their pictures.
I`m not saying that I`ve been online too long, I`m just saying that when I close my eyes I scroll through my thoughts
I don`t think America should elect a president in 2016. We need to be single for a few years and find ourselves.
Never mistake my silence for weakness. No one plans a murder out loud.
It’s like I wanna be left alone but I still want people to notice my absence, you know.
Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words “The” and “IRS” together it spells “Theirs.”
Immature: A word boring people use to describe fun people.
LIFE HACK: Answer your phone "Hello you`re on the air" and 99% of the time people will just hang up
I wish life had a “rewind-the-weekend” button.