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Apparently I pack an apple in my 5 year old`s lunch so it can get out of the house for a few hours.
I accidentally wore green today. And I probably will be drunk later but NOT because it`s St. Patrick`s Day, because it`s Monday.
Call me old fashioned but I prefer women with eyebrows made out of hair
The IRS suggests filing early to reduce the chance that someone will steal your identity and file before you. Honestly, if somebody wants my identity so badly they`ll file my tax return for me, go crazy. You can mow my lawn while you`re at it, too.
"Mary had a little lamb. That`s had." - the wolf
so far so good.... no unexpected father`s day cards or presents!
I spend the first half of work fantasizing about all the different places I could go for lunch.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Whenever I have a panic attack, I put a brown paper bag over my mouth ... and drink all the vodka inside ... It seems to help
Me, a morning person? Pfft. Most days I`m not even an afternoon person.
Most of my colleagues and friends can`t spell colleagues or friends.
When you think about how big the Earth is, then how small it is compared to the Sun, and how the Sun is just a speck of dust in the universe, it`s easy to justify eating an entire chocolate cake.
If offering people gum is cooking, then yes, I cook.
I`d like to help you out ... Which way did you come in?
Trouble is just fun you got caught having.