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Nothing makes me want to leave a website more than a pop-up window saying, “Are you sure you want to leave this page?”
I never meant to be so cold, I never meant to be so cold. - Mother nature
Ironically, Internet was made to save our time.
I have Beer.
Synonym: Word used in place of the one you can`t spell.
My kids are the reason I wake up every morning. Really freaking early. Every...Single...Morning...
My mom just sent me a friend request on Facebook! Finally I can use that "I`m not your friend I`m your mother" speech to my advantage.
In reference to why men can sleep with lots a women and it’s fine, but women can’t sleep with lots of men or else they’re whores. “If a key opens a lot of locks, it’s a master key. But if a lock is opened by a lot of different keys, it’s just a sh!tty lock.”
ever notice that on a phone the word "mom" is 666?
You bring the friendship, I`ll bring the benefits.
I don’t have nightmares... I create them for others ;-)
From 8am until 12pm, my job basically pays me to think about what I am going to have for lunch
On a scale from 1 to 10 how likely is it that your dumbass will say 11?
The best trick the devil ever pulled was calling herself "him".
So how many pokes does it take before its considered a heavy petting?