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Your family tree has a couple of coconuts
My ex is living proof as to how stupid I can be.
I`ve been told my posts are too depressing but what does it matter. We`ll all be dead soon anyway.
Don`t forget: it`s very important what strangers on the Internet think about you.
Chuck E. Cheese is just a casino for little kids.
When I`m bored I like to call in sick to places I don`t work for. I`m getting written up at Home Depot
If you`re in your car, go ahead and pick your nose, because the car makes you invisible.
When you msg me @ 9:30am w/ just "Morning," don`t be shocked when I wait till 12:00pm & respond w/ "Noon." Seriously, what did ya expect?
I`m not saying my doctor is young, but he just texted me "2mer is B-9, woot!"
Although no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.
The only thing I`ve learned from scary movies is to avoid pale children
Don`t be upset that you`re single; be happy that someone isn`t ruining your life.
I checked my horoscope today and all I can say is ...WOW!! I`m a Taurus and I looked it up and sure enough,it says I was born between 4/21-5/21!! Well played horoscope, well played.
Just tore the tag off my mattress and there’s nothing the feds can do about it. MUAHAHAHAHA!!!
My Status updates are so great people hit the like button twice