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Dear therapist, I might actually come see you if your job title didn`t spell out “the rapist” Sincerely, not lying down.
Don`t date guys from the internet. The last guy said he lived in a gated community. Prison, he meant prison.
My friend wants to know if you think I’m hot.
I won`t be impressed with technology until I can download food.
I’m not shy. I’m just holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.
Do u ever have the urge to tell someone to shut up even when they arent talking?
"Friendzoned" should be a relationship status on Facebook.
Maybelline claims to make eyelashes appear three times longer…..I think they should start making condoms.
It must be really hard to judge wet t-shirt contests. I saw one recently, and all the t-shirts looked equally wet.
Home Alone (1990, Comedy) Two burglars attempt to murder an abandoned 8-year-old child
The hostess said to sit wherever I want, but the couple at this table are giving each other weird looks and have totally stopped talking.
Hey Guys! I havent seen you since last year!(;
Exercise by running up the street knocking on all the doors. - Jehovah`s Fitness.
I read that taking a long, hot bath can help with managing stress. Unfortunately my boss doesn`t approve.
This is not meant for you. Look away. STOP LOOKING AT IT! :)