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Still not 100% clear on whether French Montana is a person or a steakhouse special.
A woman saying “I’m not mad at you” is like a dentist saying “You won’t feel a thing.”
I’ve robbed banks before and they’re never getting their pens back.
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Then go find somebody whose life gave them vodka and throw a party.
Unsettling sounds #23 - Ice-cream van after dark
Shout out to good looking women who date unattractive men who aren`t rich, thanks for keeping hope alive.
Oh cool! ... I really do not care.
Was late to my first Fight Club last night so missed the intro rules. Still, Fight Club was brilliant and I`d highly recommend Fight Club.
Language is cool because it`s just a bunch of sounds, but put them in the right order & you can make someone cry or you can order tacos.
So apparently the security guard at Kroger didn`t believe that life gave me that lemon.
Keep it up and I`ll make sure u end up on a milk carton.
I`ve totally cut carbs out of my diet. Until lunch.
And suddenly those annoying neighbors that leave their Christmas lights up all year long look like geniuses.
I get butterflies in my stomach every time I eat butterflies.
No really I`m fine, I have drugs and alcohol to block out reality, but thanks anyway...