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Life is beautiful ...... but Monday`s suck all the way around.
I`m going to be very disappointed if I go to England and nobody skips to the loo.
Roses are red vilouts are blue your moms beautiful what happened to you!
Why is it that everyone you hate has such a better job than you?
My trust issues began when there was no donkey in Donkey Kong.
I f*cking hate you. Hope that clears things up.
My talent is being wasted, if that counts as a talent.
Does the 5 second rule apply to soup? Please answer quickly!
Wife: I wish we could have sex like we used to... Husband: Do you mean with other people?
Two clowns are eating a cannibal. One turns to the other and says "I think we got this joke wrong."
Some of my friendships are bad for my liver.
Mirrors don`t lie. Lucky for you, they don`t laugh either.
“Star Wars” fans are very upset that the story line of the upcoming new “Star Wars” movie has been leaked. Apparently the movie starts with R2-D2, Chewbacca, and Han
Do you ever look through old pictures and wonder, “Where the hell did that shirt go?”
Chuck E Cheese: Because it`s never too early to introduce your children to gambling and bad nutrition.