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I don`t believe women belong in the kitchen... because men are better at that too
"Waiter, I`d like to send this back" -m`am, I believe that`s your husband.
What does it mean if the Holy Water sizzles when it hits your skin (asking for a friend)
Never , under any circumstances , take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. O_o
Behind every beautiful song is a person who really shouldn`t sing it out loud in public
Thanks to the State Farm commercial now I want a Falcon.
Did you ever notice how a woman’s “I’ll be ready in 5min” and a guys “I’ll be home in 5min” are one and the same?
If anyone ever tells you your dreams are silly, remember there`s a millionaire walking around that invented the pool noodle.
That sounds fried. I`ll take it.
I`m not saying I`m bilingual but if you shout at me in German I`ll probably do whatever you want
I`ve had enough of my neighbours blasting their music from their backyard. I`m not annoyed cause it`s so loud, i`m annoyed cause they`re Korean & they`ve still yet to play Gangnam Style!
Where did all the people walking around with boomboxes in the 80s go? I`m concerned
You can tell a lot about a woman by the way she cuts your brake lines.
I’m usually that person who has no idea what’s going on.
It`s time to admit that as a species, we are just not ready for 4-way stops