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If you figure me out I want an explanation.
Today`s big idea - Coffee eye drops
I am a completely different person when I`m not under female supervision.
They say if the palm of your hand itches, you`re going to get something. And if your crouch itches, you`ve already got it.
Attention burglars: We may or may not be home. Or maybe we are hunters, waiting for you to get closer for a kill shot
One day, I`m gonna wait for the Wal-Mart greeter to go on a bathroom break, step in their place, and begin welcoming everyone to K-mart.
Some days, I think that Dexter dude has the right idea.
Just watched The Grey. The wolves left half the Mexican .. to spicy??
They said I couldn`t drink or operate machinery on my medication. But here I am…Driving a forklift…Sipping a beer…Lifting up my boss`s car…
Reckon the first person to make popcorn by accident probably ran away
After a night of heavily drinkin` there`s one thing I can`t stand...and that`s up.
I just kicked a can in my driveway and somehow ended up with a goal against Brazil.
I`m thinking about remodeling my bathroom and thanks to all your selfies I`m getting some great ideas!!.....
Everyone please stop doing crimes because sirens are too noisy.
This isn`t a bakery. We don`t sugarcoat sh!t