Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Warning: I just get weirder.
When someone shows you they don`t want to be a part of your life, let them go. I`m not saying you can`t make a voodoo doll of them, though.
I watched my first porn movie today. I looked so much younger back then...
I get so excited when Facebook tells me there are hot singles in my city who want to meet me. Maybe they want to babysit!
Yes officer, I know my driving is not 100% perfect, but you have to agree that it is still pretty good for someone who is completely drunk.
I bet attractive people think the world is a lot more polite than it really is.
The best things in life can`t be seen or touched....well, at least that`s what the restraining order says.
I`m great at making pancakes and women uncomfortable.
What if your soulmate is over there on Twitter while you`re here on Facebook?
Even if gas prices go down, I´m still going to siphon gas from my neighbor´s car because I like the adrenaline rush and he´s an a$$hole
Guys be like, "Lets play 21 question." Girl: Ok, what`s your favorite color? Boy: Triangle, so you a virgin?
Sometimes people don`t notice or appreciate the things we do for them, until we stop doing it. They are like, “Why don’t you stalk me anymore”
You have to PAY for a speeding ticket?! I thought it was a reward for beating other drivers..
Instead of going to Starbucks, I like to make my own coffee, yell my name out incorrectly, and then light a $5 bill on fire.
new years resolution #1: stop losing the powerball