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I`m trying to save up enough money to one day afford to save up money.
"I don`t know what the f*ck this tastes like." - first person to eat chicken.
Have you ever tried blind-folded archery? You don`t know what you`re missing.
Before we start this relationship, I am going to need you to explain a few pics in your Facebook albums.
I thought the voices in my head actually liked me until I found out they learned sign language just so they could talk sh*t about me.
This day needs more tomfoolery!
It`s really quite simple ... I do what I want! ... The End.
We`re all mature until someone pulls out bubble wrap.
I need to learn the rules to make sure I don`t accidently follow them
Oh, you fell in love?! I fell in my bathtub.
Mary Had a Little Lamb, Little Lamb, Little Lamb. Maybe she wasn`t that hungry.
Every time I lose some weight, I find it again in the refrigerator.
Don`t get out of bed, it`s a trap.
I have no idea what swag is, but I`m fairly certain what I have is the opposite of whatever it is.
I don`t understand interventions. What`s the point of being told I drink too much by a room full of the reasons I drink in the first place?