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"You`ve got a friend in me." - Cannibals, probably
If I told you I loved you, would you believe me or just stand there freaking out about me being in your closet?
Technically, it isn`t pre-marital sex if you have no intention of getting married.
So far today has been a pretty good day...I haven`t had to bite or hit anyone, yet!!
If its true we`re here to help others, then what exaclty are the others here for?
Excuse me but which level of Hell is this?
Don’t be ashamed of who you are. That’s your parents job.
Fun: text a friend "Are you alone right now?" They go "Yes." Then u text back LOL
Wishing a happy unbirthday to everybody who`s birthday isn`t today.
Imagine taking your girlfriend to your friends house for the 1st time, and her phone automatically connects to his password protected wifi.
Last week a 13-year-old girl became the youngest female to climb Mount Everest. She didn’t mean to. She was just texting her friend and the next thing she knew she was on top of Mount Everest.
The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.
That awkward moment when the guy who discovered milk had to explain what he was doing to the cow.
Lessons learned from last night: There is no such thing as a goalie in darts.
I spent the first 20 minutes of 2014 looking for the remote.