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Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.
Don’t worry I won’t tell anyone.. and if I do, I’ll tell them not to tell anyone.
I bet Jellyfish are sad that there are no Peanut Butter fish.
So far my Christmas shopping has involved buying myself presents, so I`d say it`s been a success.
doesn`t mind that people start spreading rumors about me.. it’s when they spread the truth that I’m screwed ;)
I took a pic of my self a few days ago. Now I`m playing with it. Yeah...I`m playing with my selfie.
I bet blind people think farts are funnier than deaf people.
and alcohol are now friends.
If you can’t love the one you want, love someone who looks like them and just squint a lot.
If people winked in real life as much as they do in texts, the world would be a really creepy place.
I just finished writing an article on "How To Improve Your Memory"- But I forgot where I kept it!!
Before you have any hope for the future of humanity, come and look at how this guy parked.
I embraced my inner child today and the lil` bastard bit me!
It takes me like three days to wake up in the morning.
The exam hall is the only place on the earth where everyone is desperate for teamwork..