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FYI : My post aren`t directed at anyone in particular...so should anyone be offended by them, I say if the shoe fits ... Wear It!!!!!
I helped my girlfriend with the dinner last night. I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm.
I`m in therapy to learn how to deal with people who should be in therapy
I`m an animal in bed. More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours a day.
Why did you have to take a half naked picture in front of a full length mirror to show off your new haircut?
Do gun manuals haue a trouble shooting section?
Whatever Mom, IF THAT`S EVEN YOUR REAL NAME!!!
My boys cleaned out my car and now my change is missing. Little do they know, it costs exactly $3.63 to turn our wifi back on.
“Hey baby, do you smell that?” “No.” “Me neither, start cooking.”
I have some jokes about unemployment but they need some work.
"I went to Jared" I whispered as she slowly opened the velvety box of Subway coupons.
Don’t be scared of making changes. Be scared of living the same shitty life because you didn’t change. And spiders. Be scared of them too.
The majority of life`s greatest lessons are learned while observing your drunk friends.
I don`t understand interventions. What`s the point of being told I drink too much by a room full of the reasons I drink in the first place?