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Farts are just the ghosts of the things we eat.
If you watched a person cut a piece of wood, would that be sawed or seen?
You do realize everyone can see your status right?
Have some fun: goto the local bar. Play every Justin Beaber song and leave.
It`s so cold Miley Cyrus got her toungue stuck on her wrecking ball
Few things in life are more pleasurable than turning off the lights in a public bathroom while people are still inside
I’ve been reading a lot about how to live and eat healthier and then not doing anything with that information.
Possible Fact: White guys with corn rows make dangerous zombies, cuz you can`t possibly run away while laughing that hard at the same time.
If you tickle me, I’m not responsible for your injuries.
Every member of my family is polite & courteous which I why our pantry has 17 boxes of cookies that contain exactly one remaining cookie
If women ran the world we wouldn’t have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
Trust is knowing you never have to look through their phone.
Whenever I see a woman breastfeeding in public, my first reaction is to get in line.
Have you ever realized that sleeping is just your eyes staring at your eyelids all night long?
It’s not what you wear; it’s how you take it off.