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It`s called "Biscotti" because nobody would buy "chocolate covered croutons".
...and this right here son is called pornography, and it`s why they invented the internet.
Every woman in this world is beautiful...........except for the ugly ones!
Some things are better left unsaid...That`s usually the stuff I blurt out right away.
Today, A 12 year-old came up to me and said "May I please have a cigarette?". I can`t believe kids this age are already so polite.
I`d be amazing at life if I was only asked to sit and play on the computer all day.
Iām too young to be too old for everything.
The best occupation to work from home as: Bartender.
Bad news, guys. Throwing a cat through a wall doesn`t make a funny, cat-shaped hole
Talk is cheap, until you hire a lawyer.
In the spirit of spring cleaning and Easter, I`m keeping the dust bunnies as decorations.
The only hunger games i care about involve plastic hippos.
My opinion of yoga pants varies depending on if I`m at the gym or if I`m at Wal-Mart or at Taco Bell.
You have 600 friends on Facebook but you have to take your own picture of yourself for your profile photo.
You bring a baby monitor to the bar one time and everyone freaks out.