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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I hate hanging out with MC Hammer, he never let`s me touch anything.
Forget beauty sleep. I want skinny sleep.
I’m exhausted just thinking of everything I have to do.
The perfect time for a snack is while you’re waiting for another snack to finish cooking.
I don’t think girls realize how handsome my mom says I am.
My bucket list: 4 drumsticks, 2 thighs, 2 mashed potatoes with gravy, and 2 biscuits. Extra crispy.
This Christmas, if you plan on jingling, please jingle ALL the way. Nobody likes or respects a half a$$ jingler.
Fact: Pornos aren`t based on actual events.
I hate people who take drugs......like the police.
Can I use my Mastercard to make my Visa payment?
When you`re a kid, dick jokes are considered adult content, but when you`re an adult, they`re considered immature.
To Do List: 1: Buy a knife 2: Call it kindness 3: Kill people with Kindness
Coffee? I`ll have a cream soda ... One cup of coffee and I`m up all afternoon.
"Be strong" I whisper to my coffee.
If you see me out somewhere and act like you didn`t, you should know that I ignored you first.