Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Her: Do I look fat? Him: Do I look stupid?...
Your outfit says you work in an office, but your shoes say it might have a pole in it
I bought a Christmas tree today and the guy asked me `Will you be putting it up yourself?` I told him, `No, you sicko, it`s going in the living room!`
?-- that guy is cute ?
So if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the “Jags” and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the “Bucs,” what does that make the Tennessee Titans?
Todays Relationships: You can touch each other but not each others phones.
I had to defrost the fridge last night before bed. Or foreplay, as she calls it.
It`s amazing how we are very good lawyers for our own mistakes and very good Judges for other people`s mistakes.
Keep calm and pretend today isn’t Monday.
Whatever “Estimated Time of Arrival” on the GPS. Challenge accepted.
You post all of your drama on Facebook. Then get upset when people judge you? You must be a special kind of stupid.
For the record "Wanna do it?" is not foreplay....
Underachieving Sunday through Wednesday, overachieving Thursday through Saturday.
In the trailer for the fourth Transformers movie a guy says "what the hell is that" when a Transformer approaches. THE FOURTH MOVIE!
I can do 50-100 pushups depending on how many weeks you give me.