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Thinks that thinking about thoughts of thinking are too thinkable for thoughts to be thought about thinking, I think.
My Therapist told me not to drink while I`m on my Meds but little does she know...I`ve been off my Meds for almost a week now!
When it comes to bug protection, you just can`t beat "OFF!".
I`m starting to think the Hangover Fairy and the Angel of Death are the same person.
No pornhub I do not want to share this video with my friends & family on Facebook
The question isnβt who is going to let you; itβs who is going to stop you.
I know they didn`t ask for it, but I sent a stool sample in with my tax returns.
Marriage is like a public toilet. Those waiting outside are desperate to get in. Those inside are desperate to get out
The average power nap is 20 minutes. This works out well because I can fit 3 of them evenly into one hour.
What if "I`m coming out with a new scent" was just a way for famous people to warn others that they were about to fart?
I remember 2012 like it was yesterday.
Peppermint schnapps might seem like a ridiculous drink, but nobody at work ever complains about my breath.
Know what this salad needs? A Big Mac.
Why is it called βafter darkβ when it really is βafter lightβ?
I mean, I don`t even call it a hangover anymore. It`s just morning.