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I love my work, but I would also love to never have to do it again.
I`m in the awkward time period between not wanting to have pants on, and having to wait for the pizza guy right now...
Some days, the supply of available curse words is insufficient to meet my demands!
April Fools Day has been cancelled this year.
You know what’s more annoying than cops? People who buy old refurbished cop cars and keep the spotlight attached. We all hate you.
Coffee: fueling you for a job you can`t stand to support a life you never wanted. Tastes good though...
Sometimes it’s just easier to eat the last slice of pizza than fit the box in the fridge.
I chose the wrong fork in the road, took the road less travelled and got off the beaten path and now I don`t know where the hell I am.
So this guy pointing a gun to my face was like: Your money or your life! and I was like: I`m on Facebook, I don`t have money or a life.
My mother always used to think that my friends were bad influences. ..I wonder if she`s figured out yet that I was the one coming up with all the ideas? ;)
I always dress up when I try to cook. The odds of me starting a fire are pretty high and I want to make sure I look good for the firemen.
My nickname at work is "HR wants to see you"
Posting inspirational quotes online is the first sign to depression.
You call it camping. I call it getting drunk with insects.
All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific.