Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Do you ever have the urge to tell someone to shut up even when they aren`t talking?
Chicken salad with egg in it is my fave way to eat two generations.
OK. So I danced like no one was watching. Anyone know a good lawyer?
I don`t always agree with everything I say. :)
Do you ever watch a movie and realize you have to watch it again because you were on your phone the whole time?
Getting over body issues is a like getting over a fear of heights. The trick is not to look down.
My internet is so slow, it`s just faster to drive to the Google headquarters and ask them in person.
Sarcasm is just one of the many services I offer to people who ask stupid questions.
You know what’s worse than slow internet? NOTHING.
Marriage: an expensive way to get your laundry done for free..
Any amusement you may have experienced from my past posts are in no way a guarantee of future performance.... Please initial here and sign here.
I hate it when people like their own statuses * At this point you like your status for dramatic effect*
Made some terrible life choices the last few years. Just kidding. I`m married and not allowed to make decisions.
I just lost another hour trying to figure out how to reset the clock in my car.
Studies show that men who have sex more often tend to have a longer life expectancy. Unless your wife finds out.