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My iPhone autocorrected "wish you were here" to "wish you were beer" ...I sent it anyways.
I just made 3 critical errors: 1. I woke up for work. 2. I went to work. 3. I arrived at work.
The recipe said “Set the oven to 180 degrees,” so I did, but now I can’t open it because the door faces the wall.
Survival rule #1: You go first.
By the time someone says something in the meeting worth writing down, I`ve likely already taken my pen apart and lost the spring.
I do not fail, I succeed at things that do not work.
It`s a beautiful Spring day to get outside and stare at your phone.
When in doubt, take a nap.
At work, sometimes I secretly brew decaf coffee in the normal pot so that everyone else works at my pace.
Does the 5 second rule apply to soup? Please answer quickly!
Rough day! I have now completed the top 6 things off my to-do list ... Time to go get another six pack I guess.
If the Internet was never invented... what would we all be doing now?
A fun thing to do is take a group picture at a party. Then leave & print it at Walgreens. Buy a frame, go back to party, & place it on the mantel at the party.
Nothing starts my day off quite like an inspirationsl status!...May your day go fast, your socks match and your underwear no ride up your a$$.
Having kids puts a new perspective on life.