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To the people that post 15 pics of your kid everyday,your kid looks EXACTLY the same as they did ystrdy,and the day before,and the day before that
You can`t buy happiness, but you can buy ice cream, and that`s kind of the same thing.
Is a roasted peanut like a regular peanut that was made fun of by celebrity peanuts?
Just realized that 90% of Disney cartoons involve lying about your identity to get someone to love you.
Messing up a guy’s hair = cute. Messing up a girl’s hair = putting your life on the line.
Don`t you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do.
I`m done chasing people who aren`t willing to do the same for me. After today, the ice cream man can go f*ck himself!!
You know you`re broke when your Bologna Does Not have a first name!
Nascar would be so more entertaining if they threw banana peels and turtle shells.
According to my nipples, there is a 99% chance it`s cold as hell right now!
I am so clever sometimes I don`t even understand what I`m saying.
I bet people who like their own statuses wink at themselves in the mirror too.
I don`t know what I would do without Facebook, but I`m sure it would be something more productive
I haven`t seen any new episodes of Gilligan`s Island in awhile... I hope they`re OK.
I wouldn`t say I`m a stalker so much as I am a covert observation enthusiast.