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Damn boy! Are you a slinky? Cause I wanna wanna push you down a flight of stairs, then kick you when you stop halfway to the bottom.
It`s called instant messaging for a reason. ..if I wanted to wait a week for a reply, I`d of sent a bloody letter
Stall Cleaning service, Satisfaction guaranteed or 100% or you manure back!
I`m a Leader not a follower. Unless it`s a dark place...then you`re going first!
There comes a time in the day, when no matter what the question, the answer is booze.
Everything I ever needed to know about structural engineering, I learned from Angry Birds.
That amazing moment when you smack the remote and it actually works!
I use meditation and yoga to handle stress...Just kidding, I pop pills for that sh!t.
The trick to successfully backing out of a parking space is to not care what happens to you or anyone else.
If all men are created equal then why are there midgets?
Some people hear voices.. Some see invisible people.. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
Go ahead, judge me. Wait, let me get my bat first. Alright, I`m ready now.
I say the things better left unsaid.
Curling irons have a warning tag that says “For External Use Only.” Which of you sick mofos made that necessary?
I am sorry I wasn`t being completely honest when I said I was normal.