Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
There is nothing sadder than waking and turning to see the love of your life`s face to find she has deflated in the night.
You know you are getting old when you see girls from TEEN category moved to MATURE & MILFS.
Some people are like clouds. When they disappear, it’s a brighter day.
My trust issues began when there was no donkey in Donkey Kong.
I`m great in bed....i can sleep for days.
Maybe it`s inappropriate for the first date but if there`s a maze on the menu I`m asking for crayons.
God knew that there would be times that a single middle finger wouldn`t be enough.
I can’t find the words to express how I have nothing to say
If you have no internet history you silently admit wrong doing.
To all who called into work drunk today. Happy St Patrick`s Day.
Yesterday I accidentally swallowed a bottle of food coloring. The doctor says I`m OK, but I feel like I`ve dyed a little inside.
I would really like to help you move your furniture tomorrow, but I’m going to be too busy sitting on mine.
Currently training for when they inevitably make drinking an Olympic sport.
Improve your day by ordering coffee in the voice you use for your pets.
There is no such thing as something looking "Too good to eat"