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?-- that guy is cute ?
To drink, or not to drink?...what a stupid question!
I’m giving co-workers the silent treatment by sending them blank emails.
If I ran NASA, it would be mandatory for the ground crew to be dressed as apes when the space shuttle lands.
Answer your phone, "come in" just to mess with people once in a while. Count how many seconds it takes for them to respond.
What idiot called it Adderall instead of Accomplish Mints?
"are you as bored as I am?" if you read that backwards, it still makes sense.
I got my stomach by doing as many crunches as I can everyday. Usually either Nestle or Captain.
It`s 2014 and somehow we still don`t have a car mirror that can make objects appear exactly as far away as they are.
Saw a bug crawling on my arm and my reaction can only be described as “grabbing for swirling dollars inside a plexiglas Cash Cube.”
"The more the merrier": My excuse for extra food.
Do I misuse contractions? Yes, but it`s what it`s.
I got in touch with my inner child and the little sh!t hung up on me.
Naked and Afraid also describes the last time I spent a night at a Holiday Inn
Does the employee manual say I CAN`T set up my camping tent inside my cubicle? No? Then please step outside & zip the door up behind you.