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I’m having some vision trouble today. I can’t see myself doing anything.
At the end of the day, life should ask us, ‘Do you want to save the changes?’
Ya know those scenes where the guy shoves everything off the table and throws a woman on it yeah I`ve only done that with pizza
There are a few people I`d like to go to bed with but I can`t think of a single person I`d like to wake up with.
I would eat a lot more healthy food if it required no preparation or stayed fresh as long as junk food.
What do they give the person that has everything? antibiotics
Every time I do laundry I throw one sock in the garbage, because I lose sh*t on my own terms.
Some people should calm down, take a deep breath and then hold it for 20 minutes.
My lucks so bad if I bought a cemetery people would stop dying.
eHarmony should be more like Amazon “customers who slept with Tina172 also slept with LuvinLife_83, TaintMisbehavin, and Cat_Lover03?.
Crayons are a lot like M & M`s, all the colors taste the same.
Setting the alarm clock proves I`m capable of making the same mistake every day.
Tequila is Spanish for I’m open to waking up anywhere.
The weather is so nice. I think I’ll go outside and watch other people run.
There`s actually a website designed to simulate what it`s like to be the sole survivor of a nuclear holocaust, it`s called MySpace.