Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
So how long before GoFundMe is our nation`s leading health care provider?
I`m really good at using the turkey baster as a sword and getting drunk and not being invited to Thanksgiving anymore.
Every Scooby-Doo episode would literally be two minutes long if the gang went to the mask store first and asked a few questions.
I am busier than a one legged man in an arse kicking contest.
Sometimes putting on pants is the hardest part of my day.
To all those who received a book from me as a Christmas present, they are due back at the library today.
pumpkin for sale, slightly used
I prefer to call it a “Ta-Da” list. Cause it’d be amazing if I actually accomplished anything on it.
is pondering why people have a favorite color M&M when they all taste the same!
How many Snickers are an acceptable meal replacement?
when I`m quiet, strangers look at me and think I`m shy. People who know me think: OMG! he`s thinking! EVERYBODY RUN!
Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you.
Everyone loved Jack-in-the-box as kids. Now I`m older, I like mine in the bottle
has a drinking problem...I can`t afford it
I hope when Bruce Willis dies, it`s from a Viagra overdose. That way the headline can read "Bruce Willis Died Hard".