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Hey, I found your nose. It was in my business.
What`s the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller" ?
No matter how little I do in a day. I always feel like I could have done less.
Dating someone solely on their looks is shallow. Consider other things such as how much money they have.
If you`re stuck in a group text, one easy way to get out is to throw your phone in the ocean and start a new life.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than a dinner for two.
The trick to falling asleep is putting your phone down. Unfortunately, that`s not a risk I`m willing to take.
I’d get a lot more sleep if I didn’t insist on reading the entire internet every night.
I really want to take photos of my friends with their face smushed against glass.. Then make that pic my phone contact for them.. Then when they call, it will look like they`re trapped inside my phone! Oh god my life is pitiful, kill me..
How do Amish girls know if it`s a romantic candle lit dinner or just a regular one #DeepThoughts
If your girlfriend has $15 and you have $30, your girlfriend actually has $45.
Efficiency: skip your morning, wake up in the afternoon.
I`m 99% sure you think I`m weird. And I`m 100% sure I don`t care.
There`s a Bullying Support Group meeting, tomorrow night at 8 ... You`d better f*cking be there.