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Jimmy is short for James? This is where I think English is stupid. They have the same number of letters. Do they even know what short means?
My Therapist told me not to drink while I`m on my Meds but little does she know...I`ve been off my Meds for almost a week now!
Weather forecast for tonight: dark
If ignorance really was bliss we`d have a lot more really happy people around here.
I`m getting really tired of being really tired of stuff.
What`s the right age to stop running naked from the bedroom to the bathroom?
Futons are the most disappointing Transformers ever.
You can make up any word you want in conversation and if you use it in a dilsationary way, people rarely question the meaning.
If you go for a jog and you don`t post it on Facebook, have you really jogged?
If you think women are the weaker sex, try pulling the blankets back to your side.
QVC has agreed to purchase the Home Shopping Network for around $2 Billion...OR just 100,250,627 easy payments of $19.95!
My girlfriend told me she wanted me to surprise her with a gift that will take her breath away. I`m thinking about getting her a treadmill.
Friends are like condoms… they protect you when things get hard.
Going through the dealership lot with the salesman, pointing at every car and asking, "what kinda robot does that one turn into?"
Facebook where I am surrounded with people but still no one can see me biting my toe nails or picking my nose :-D