Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I bet the guy made of money in the Gieco commercial doesn`t ever ride his motorcycle on Martin Luther King Blvd in any town.
Does anyone have the owner’s manual for a wife? Mine’s emitting a terrible whining noise.
Wishing you a fabulous 2014 that is full of great achievements and experiences. A meaningful chapter waiting to be written HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Wife is painting the upstairs bedrooms. It`s not in my nature to sit still while she slaves away so I went up and complained about the color
It`s so cold outside I just saw a teenager with his pants pulled all the way up!
I would rather have a bad day of fishing then a good day of work.
It’s interesting how the ads on Youtube never have trouble buffering
Would stiff nipples be a good name for my air conditioning company?
A simpler, more believable theory is that all the dinosaurs got married and just quit having sex all together.
The people naming dinosaurs should teach the people naming hurricanes how to name stuff.
Son: am I adopted? Me: not yet, but we`re hopeful.
Why do people always feel safe under blankets...its not like a murderer will break in and be like "I`M GONNA KILL YAA__AAHHHhhhh dang he is under a blanket.
maturity comes when you stop publishing every detail of your life on social media
Due to political correctness issues, "Krazy Glue" will now be known as "Mental Disorder Glue."
The real plot hole in Cinderella was that if everything disappeared at midnight why did the shoe stay?