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Haters are my motivators(:
Never trust a person with only one Facebook photo of themselves.
I hate it when I walk through a metal detector, and my abs of steel set it off.
Is beer cheaper on cyber monday?
I`ve started an elimination diet, It`s where I eliminate anyone from my life who talks about their diet.
You never know what you have until..... you clean your room
props to the parent at the mall that walked up afterward to ask santa what his kid wanted lol
I was going to exercise this morning, but then all the sprinkles would fall off my cupcake.
How does one get suspended with full pay and benefits? Asking for a friend who is actually me.
Best thing = Waking up, looking in your refrigerator and seeing a pizza box.
Hawaii is a great place to live if you hate being eligible for contests.
I love sleep because its like a time machine to breakfast.
I’m moving to Africa. Apparently there I can eat for 12 cents a day.
If McDonald´s sold hot dogs, could u, with a straight face, order a McWeiner & tell them 2 super size it?
My motto for the night ... drink till I no longer think :)