Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
There`s nothing better than a nap after a good nights sleep.
I’ve had no formal martial arts training, but I know for a fact the Power Rangers are wasting too much energy on unnecessary summersaults
Next time a customer service rep asks “Is there anything else I can do for you?” whisper “Smile for the camera, I’m watching you” & hang up
Told my kids next time I take their electronics away I`d also be responding to all texts they receive. They`ve been well behaved since.
People all around the world are out doing interesting and productive things right now. You are reading this.
I wish there was more BitStrips and photos of giraffes on my Facebook
I like to walk around the house naked. Until the cops chase me back inside.
Why would I pay someone to scare me at a haunted house when I could just open a can of biscuits at home?
Gambling addiction hotlines would do so much better if every fifth caller was a winner.
If it hurts you more than it hurts them, you’re probably holding the taser wrong.
My relationship is mostly me apologizing for saying something super bada$$ and hilarious
My GF`s anti aging cream went bad ... How does anti aging cream have an expiration date?!
Ask.com is useless............they have no idea where I put my car keys either
I went around the block with my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.
She caught my iphone before it hit the ground... She`s definitely my screensaver