Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The most common name In China is Chang, correct me if you think it’s Wong.
It`s ok if you don`t like my personality,,, I`ve got others.
"we can still be friend" .. is like saying "The dog died, but we can still keep him"
Out of all the lies I`ve ever told, "Just kidding" is my favorite.
My 14 year old sent a text asking me to pick her up from school and added "not in your pajamas". So I`m wearing hers because good moms listen.
OK. So I danced like no one was watching. Anyone know a good lawyer?
My Chinese waiter put my food down in front of another white guy who looked nothing like me. I get it now.............Wait, That`s not my waiter!
A funny thing to do would be to text random numbers with "I got the live bees you sent, they`ll do nicely"
It only takes a second to show someone how you feel. The police call it “Indecent Exposure” but whatever.
Those beards make the Red Sox look like they`re going to a Civil War reenactment as Confederates.
Judging by the way some women wear makeup it`s rather obvious they didn`t excel at coloring as a kid ...
You call them ‘naps’ but I prefer to call them ‘alcohol-induced aftershocks`
They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder. It`s true... The less I see of someone, the more I like them!
You know that look women get when they want sex ? ..........me neither.
Leave a comment if you`ve started drinking. Hit the `Like` button if you`re already sh!tfaced. *Cheers*