Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I never know the proper etiquette with the pizza delivery guy. Do I kiss him before or after paying him?
Redneck Word : debate...i was gonna go fishin today but forgot to bring debate
Remember years ago when we didn`t have facebook and we had to take pictures of our food and get the film developed at the chemist get all your friends round your house and show them what you have been eating ...the good old days
If it rains on a dream catcher, does that make it a wet dream catcher?
Always keep a note in your medicine cabinet that says, “I thought you were peeing?”
How am I supposed to make great life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what letter comes next?
I’m always impressed when I can stump auto-correct...
I like to walk around the house naked. Until the cops chase me back inside.
I ate a shepherd`s pie for lunch. He was pretty upset about it.
When you have the opportunity to become a bigger person, take it because cake is delicious.
My life is a very complicated drinking game
To be honest, I´m just fishing for compliments tonight.
Trust me , as you get to know me , i just get weirder.
It`s pretty neat how owning a pool gives me an excuse to own every chemical needed to make a body completely disappear.
I’ve found that the things I’m most interested in aren’t really in my best interest.