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"Ho, Ho, Ho!" -Santa Claus/Pimp, doing a head count.
I stick pins and needles in the people I don`t like because can`t afford voodoo dolls.
It`s funny to watch all these people Bumping Up their own posts.
I don’t approve of political jokes. I’ve seen too many of them get elected.
?"I hate when people come to MY house, knock on MY door, and then give me the "why aren`t you wearing pants" look."
Funny how drinking 8 glasses of water a day seems impossible, but 8 beers, and 6 shots, go down like a fat kid on a see-saw.
I don`t know if I`ve got some free time, or if I just forgot what the hell I`m supposed to be doing...
would a fly without wings be called a walk?
Even this posting will offend some people, hopefully.
Before you judge me, know that I don`t give a crap. Ok, go ahead.
Each day is a gift, but some days are socks and underwear
Time to train for my favorite winter sport. Extreme Hibernation.
Most women desire someone who makes them laugh and also feel safe, so basically a clown ninja.
Unless you fell on the treadmill, nobody wants to hear about your workout.
Ignoring things don`t make them go away, it makes them drunk dial you.