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I`m amazed at the mileage my car is getting. I`m still running off the same tank of gas I bought last year!
I`m sorry did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?
Restaurant Advertisement: We serve food as HOT as your neighbour’s wife; And beer as COLD as your own. :)
I pay $200 a month for car insurance, I`ll run all the red lights I want
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
Nice try, blocked number but I don`t even answer the phone for people I know.
Marriage, because sometimes ruining a person`s life takes serious commitment.
People with the loudest car audio systems usually have the worst taste in music.
so apparently there is no such thing as a St Patrick`s Santa and I`m not sure whose lap I just sat on at the mall.
Police ordered me to get out of my car `You`re staggering` said the officer .`you`re not to bad looking yourself` I replied
I think I bought just enough fireworks to get my neighbor to move.
I can’t prove this, but I swear I used to be smarter, funnier, and less tired
am feeling lazy......... jst like the guy who desighned the Japannese flag
Please be careful on the roads. Lots of people are drinking exsessively and letting their wives drive.
I purposely cry while cutting carrots so onions don`t think they`re ugly or something.