Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m not sure if I actually have free time or there are things I`m forgetting to do.
On the bright side, I`m relieved we live in a society where we acknowledge that the people who make sandwiches are artists.
I don`t understand no one has excepted my boiling water challenge
To get laid is good. To get off is good. To get laid off is bad.
How many selfies does it take to get to the center of attention?
There are too many people who could ruin my life by posting a screenshot of a text conversation we’ve had.
Think about what last call would look like if Walmart had a bar
I`ve been hitting "remind me later" for about the last 4 years on Adobe.
The only F word out a woman`s mouth that scares me is "fine."
If the Dollar Store ever starts selling alcohol....drinks are on me.
I wish I could match my dog`s excitement to go outside.
I always buy a Get Well Soon card for the couple who invites me to their wedding.
I`m a compulsive liar. Every thing I say is a lie. And that`s the truth.
You`re not unlucky. Bad things happen to you because you`re a dumba$$.
This status update is a test. It is only a test. Had this been an actual emergency, we would have fled in terror and you would not have been notified.