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Life is too short to be kissing the wrong a$$.
One of these days I`m going to get help for my procrastination problem.
If the Terminator was female the line would have been, “I might be back, I haven’t decided yet.”
The best thing about online classes is the beer.
If you are stalking me, please keep up, I have a lot of errands today.
Oh I thought it was wait 30 YEARS after eating before you exercise.
Happiness is using an ATM and finding a receipt left by someone with an account balance lower than yours.
Law enforcement`s cracking down on texting while driving, but there`s no law against standing up and playing saxophone through your sunroof.
this is a status you spent your time reading: sj
It`s not that people use only 10% of their brains, it`s that only 10% of people use their brains.
As i get older i realize I do a LOT more YOGA...attempting to tie my shoelaces
Here’s your social security card. It’s paper & has to last you forever. Don’t laminate it. Good luck! -The Government
NASCAR pit crews are always retiring. Let it sink in: now laugh
The text message is the new greeting card, but without any hope that there will be money inside.
My scars tell a story. A story about a guy who`s really f*cking clumsy.