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If every U.S. sports team converted to metric, Americans would understand the metric system by the next game.
FYI: Real hippos at the zoo don’t eat marbles. They should post a sign or something.
There’s a thin line between “I should do a status update about that” and “I should talk to a therapist about that”
Was going to watch the presidential inauguration today, but found something more interesting on a different channel. Watched "How cow farts affect the ozone layer" on The Science channel.
What if Deja Vu meant you lost a life and you are starting back off at your last checkpoint.
sometimes... late at night... i rearrange traffic signs. people need to be challenged.
If you ever come over unannounced, it`ll take me at least three minutes to answer the door because there is no way I was already wearing pants.
If you`re having second thoughts, you`re 2 ahead of most people.
I can relate to Alice in Wonderland. She just keeps randomly eating and drinking with the hope that it might magically solve her problems.
For lent I`m giving up sex, wait I`m not Catholic. Whoa, that was close
According to maxipad commercials, all women are full of blue windshield washer fluid...
was going to argue with you...but then I remembered I really didn`t care
If your cat has a Facebook page, we can`t be friends.
When you are dead, you don`t know you are dead. It`s pain only for others. It`s the same thing when you are stupid.
I dream about naps.