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" a fool and his money ----- are never around when you need a loan......"
Do trolls even live under bridges anymore? Or have they all relocated to the Internet?
LISTEN: It was sweet of you to suck the venom out of my snake bite, but if you really loved me... you would have swallowed.
My earthquake kit is just a tuxedo because in case of a disaster, I want to look like the most important person to save.
You are so selfish! You´re going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night!
Monopoly: Destroying friendships since 1904
Take me seriously at your own risk.
If you have to use a shot glass to make your drinks then you`re not doing it right...
I laugh in the face of normal.
My bank statement is just a visual record of bad decisions.
Funny how people get all angry when you break something of theirs that they don`t ever use. Like turn signals with a baseball bat.
First Ebola case in USA , and the Walking Dead starts next week... brb gonna go buy a crossbow.
There`s nothing a floored gas pedal and cranked music can`t cure.
Volleyball is just a more intense game of "Don`t let the balloon touch the floor"
It’s a holiday. You know what that means… Ten million status updates saying the exact same thing. Get ready.