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Is it wrong to tell a knock knock joke to a homeless person ?
I`m looking for a girlfriend that likes me for my money, but is really bad at math...
Let`s go to my place and do the things I`ll tell everyone we did anyway.
While most people are becoming older and wiser, I´m becoming older and better at making stuff up as I go along.
All I`m saying is that if you were a real psychic palm reader you would of made me wash my hands first.
You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and it’s cold.
My favorite part of the Bible is when God gives humans free will, then kills them with a flood because they didn`t act the way he wanted.
Porn is the only type of entertainment where "not watching the whole thing" means it was good.
FYI....just in case something happens.....The cashier at the liquor store down the street is my emergency contact person.
I don`t make a very good first impression, but if you hang around, my forty-third one is pretty cool.
I want to tell my coworker I have strong feelings for her, but I`m afraid things might get weird if she knows I hate her.
When I was little I didn`t care about things like what to wear, my parents dressed me. Looking back at some of my old pictures, it`s obvious that my parents didn`t care either.
All I`m saying is there`s a reason all the best love songs have the word crazy in them.
Ugh... Seriously? If I get ONE more sexual advance on facebook, that will be.. like... a first.
My problem is, I`m about 30% stud, and 70% muffin.