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Why is it so hard to find a woman who loves me for me and not the person I lied and manipulated her into thinking I am?
I have just one word for beautiful women with questionable morals, poor decision making skills and an insatiable sex drive ..."Hi"
I have to admit my heart broke a little when I heard the lady at Starbucks call the guy in line behind me "sweetie" too.
Was building a website for women drivers ... Bloody thing kept crashing.
Explain to me the down side of being under house arrest.
I just lifted a couch to retrieve a Skittle that fell underneath it, so I get you Moms that lift cars to rescue children, I get you.
The recipe I am making says to chill for 30 minutes so I`m sitting back and having a margarita!
You`ve got to love yourself. But not in public places.
You can`t be ugly and play hard to get. It just doesn`t work that way...your already hard to want
Bitch, you`re just like monday, nobody likes you -_-
Damn girl, are you a Snickers bar because you`re so sweet and satisfying and surprisingly hard and hold on, are those nuts?
Women are like bacon, they smell great, taste delicious and kill you slowly. Men are like bacon because we`re pigs.
It’s so nice outside I should probably close the blinds so there isn’t a glare on my screen.
New Study: Long-term beer drinking can lead to depression, also known as "running out of beer."
The Drug Store cashier asked me how im doing as I put some diarrhea medicine on the counter. "Not great man, I`ve got diarrhea" I told him.