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Hey, somebody get ready to wake up the guy in Green Day.
Oh no! I have to enter my date of birth to view this explicit content! Damn this internet security!
The beauty of vodka is that it looks like water. The beauty of the workplace is that water bottles are allowed.
I just noticed me saying "LOL" everytime I`m laughing = facebook addict...lmao :)
When your wife or girlfriend asks,"Do I look fat?" the ONLY correct response is, "Do I look stupid?
Texting while driving is incredibly stupid and dangerous ... You`re practically begging for typos.
"Hey, man, just called to see when you`re going to commercial. Now? Ok, us too." -Radio Stations
My internet is so slow, it`s just faster to drive to the Google headquarters and ask them in person.
whoo hoo...I have new gutters. Please try and keep your mind out of them.
If you don’t like something change it... if you can’t change it....post it on facebook, so we can "like it" and laugh..
Never underestimate a girl’s ability to find things out.
I`m absolutely nailing this "I give a sh!t" face today!
I only get religious when scratching off lottery tickets.
Why hasn`t anyone written a sequal song to "Jessie`s Girl" ... Where he discovers what an incredible high maintenance drag she is?
Sometimes you just see a post and think, "Yup it`s your own fault."