Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I FINALLY "friended" my girlfriend on Facebook.. You know.. So I could get updates on our relationship status.. :|
If you`re one in a million, there are more than 7,000 of you.
This girl next to me in class has a piece of tape over her laptop webcam. This can only mean she’s made some serious mistakes in her past…
In my defense, it was a fantastic idea at 3am...
My friend told me that bigamy was having one wife to many. I thought that was called monogamy.
Is it wrong to swallow my multi-vitamin with a beer?
Sometimes I have to tell myself, "It`s not worth the jail time!"
Be thankful your GPS doesn`t get PMS: “Fine! Turn whichever way you want! You never listen to me anyway!”
Worried that you may have a stalker? Shut up and just be happy someone likes you.
They said I couldn`t drink or operate machinery on my medication. But here I am…Driving a forklift…Sipping a beer…Lifting up my boss`s car…
I bet Bruce Wayne sometimes accidentally signs his credit card receipts “Batman” when he’s drunk. I know I do.
I DON`T HATE YOU,I`M JUST NOT NECESSARILY EXCITED ABOUT YOUR EXISTENCE!
I may have no one rocking my world right now, but I have no one ruining it either!
People in glass houses can throw whatever they want. They live in a glass house, I`m not expecting them to be practical
What`s this g-mail? I just got used to e-mail. And why did they skip f-mail?