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OK. Who decided to call it "possession of marijuana" and not "joint custody"?
I love my work, but I would also love to never have to do it again.
Not sure what to do with all the daylight we are saving.
If kidnapping is a federal offense, then why is marriage legal?
Don’t ask a girl where she wants to eat. Tell her to guess where you’re taking her to eat. Then take her to her first guess.
My wife is a perfectionist but she made an exception in my case.
A piñata is NOT a good idea for a Halloween costume.
Sometimes I watch sports holding an xbox controller just to screw with my girlfriend`s head.
I`m Not Perfect. Your Not Perfect. But Together We Can Be a Perfect Sense of Humor LOL!
What`s the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don`t know and I don`t care.
Whenever a wrong number calls me and hangs up I always call em back and tell them it was their loss because I`m really fun to talk to.
How many servings of fruit are in a fruit roll up? I`m trying to take my diet seriously now.
It must be exhausting being offended by everything.
I don`t want it to seem like I`m trying to get rid of you, but GO AWAY!!
I scream. You scream. The police come ... It`s awkward ;)