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I don`t really want to make bad choices; but I`m always late, and all the good choices are already taken..
OMG! I went shopping because I needed a skirt and these earings were on special so I bought four new pairs of shoes!
Success is 1% inspiration, 98% perspiration and 2% attention to detail.
I`m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off a bunch of sh!t all at the same time.
The monent of triumph when your bag is the first off the plane.
Thanks coffee for tricking us into believing that it`s a good morning for a few minutes.
If you attached a bunch of watches together to make a belt it would be a waist of time.
I just saw a man salute the Budweiser truck on the highway. LMAO
These animal crackers are crap, this elephant tastes exactly like that giraffe did.
They say that alcohol kills slowly. So what! Who wants to be in a hurry?!?
I hear there is scientific proof that birthdays are good for you... the more you have the longer you live.
Had a bad mixup at the store today. Cashier said strip down facing me. Apparently she meant my credit card.
A guide to hating people. Step 1: get to know them.
My coworkers sending dirty messages to other coworkers when I leave my computer unlocked is why I have trust issues. ... and dates.
I have noticed that everyone who is for abortion, has already been born.