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what does bgif mean on a friday night ? ... boobs go in front
I watched Americas Got Talent for 15 minutes and I beg to differ.
Laugh now, but at the rate they are reproducing, the people of Walmart may one day take over the world
These ramen noodles taste like payday is next Friday.
The best part about living by myself is not having to explain a lot of things......a LOT of things.
Did 4 push ups & 2 sit ups then ate 4 doughnuts & drank 2 beers. It`s called balance people!
I think when a restaurant has "lobster celebration" it is very misleading to the lobster.
Facebook is great! It reminds me to go to the gym and take my birth control so I don`t end up like everyone I went to high school with.
Whenever my wife sings I have to go outside. Not to get away from her, but to prove to my neighbors I`m not beating her.
You`re the reason I wake up everyday. Just kidding I have a job.
The only thing Facebook has ever done for me is make me realize a lot of my friends are idiots.
Clearly skinny jeans are easier to obtain than skinny genes
The last time I was someone`s type, I was donating blood.
I like to stop the microwave with 1 second to go. Makes me feel like a bomb defusal expert.
ooooh boy, Mother`s Day hangovers...always the worst huh?!