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Why can`t I get service in my own home, but the god damn Taliban can upload videos from a cave in Afghanistan!?
I was an adult once. Then I opened a Facebook account.
Of all the grotesque sounds coming from the bathroom stall next to me, the camera click was the most disturbing!!
Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.
If someone posts a picture of their kid on Facebook making a stupid face, I like to comment with, "Oh, NOW I see the resemblance!"
Thanks coffee for tricking us into believing that it`s a good morning for a few minutes.
You can dress for success or undress for it. It depends on what type of work you want.
It`s so cold out I`ve turned 50 Shades Of Blue!
I’M ENGAGED…..to be hungover tomorrow.
You are not a "Food Blogger", you`re a "Fat a$$ with a laptop"
She said there`s no difference between turkey bacon and regular bacon, and now I`m supposed to just "forget about it"?
I don’t care how loud I’m laughing, I’m having fun and you’re not.
I`ve got a Tootsie Pop and seven hours until the aviary notices their Spotted Owl is missing. Let`s do this!
Do girls that make duck faces in pictures walk in a V formation at the mall?
I can`t believe these women are just walking around with yoga mats like a game of yoga might just break out at any moment