Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
This debt collector was just so surprised I answered my phone that they stuttered and hung-up lmao!!
Please ignore this post, I`m pretending to be adding a coworker`s phone number.
Holiday Shopping Tip #112:Next time you see someone with their arms full of bags looking around a parking lot while pointing and clicking their horn button, help them out and start pushing your horn button too!
Thanks to the State Farm commercial now I want a Falcon.
Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is that you`re ignorant and make bad decisions.
There are two reasons I would never drink toilet water. Number 1 and number 2.
You are living proof that the Lord is testing me.
If the Dollar Store ever starts selling alcohol....drinks are on me.
The only exercise I`ve done this month is running out of money
People who say "Don`t mix drugs with alcohol"" ... they`re stupid, right?
Everything is a boomerang if you throw it upwards.
God: Is there anything else you need Adam? Adam: yes I want a Sandwich! God: Ok let`s create eve.
You care so much about me? Keep that sh*t to yourself i got my demons under control
Spoiler Alert: Ladies, if your guy friend gets you a teddy bear, it has a Camera in it.
Make yourself at home. Clean my kitchen