Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I still know what you did last summer........... cos you posted it on facebook!
Why do men fart more than women? Because women can`t shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
Picking and choosing who to say happy birthday to since 2006, thanks Facebook!
Do u ever have the urge to tell someone to shut up even when they arent talking?
The best part about Valentine`s Day is that tomorrow is Friday.
Did the Baha Men ever find their dogs? Did they put up posters or just sing that song?
I have an amazing psychic ability to find objects just before people lose them. Unfortunately, the police call it theft.
It`s important to teach your children math so they can better understand what episode of Star Wars they are watching.
So I harvested my tomato today, it`s bound to be good considering the $43.29 I invested to plant it.
I still have a landline. Or as I like to call it, Cell Phone Finder.
I sometimes check my blocklist to see how my prisoners are doing
Before coffee: Hates everybody. After coffee: Feels good about hating everybody.
I am taking a shot for every “like” I get on this status. Then again, I’m taking shots whether you bastards like it or not.
It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at him.
If something`s worth doing, it`s worth doing rihgt.