Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m at the age where I need at least 3 weeks advance notice before doing anything spontaneous
Sarcasm. Because communicating with morons is hard.
Boss: Where`s the progress report I asked u for. Me: I haven`t made any progress, that`s my report! - What I imagine it`d be like if I had a job
I got this weird condition where I drink a case of beer and fall down.
That disappointing moment when you pull up to work and it`s not fully engulfed in fire.
A homeless man comes up to me asking for change, I say "Change comes from within." He looked stunned.
It`s not that I`m judging you, but you hung your toilet roll the wrong way and I just think it best if we never spoke again.
I`m the type of person that would thrive in solitary confinement.
m for Monday t for Tuesday wtf Wednesday Thursday Friday get it wtf
My participation in this meeting will be based solely on the snacks they provide.
Life is like a teenager`s p@nis. some are short, some are long, but it is always hard.
She texted me: "Your adorable.". I replied: "No, you`re adorable." Now she thinks I like her. All I did was point out her typo!
Let’s fix the obesity problem AND improve eye-hand coordination by replacing vending machines with claw machines, make people earn snacks.
When you`re a kid, it makes you feel proud when someone says "Wow! You`ve gotten so big since the last time I saw you!" As an adult, not so much.
my husband of 10 years still goes mad when I use his toothbrush, if anyone knows a better way to get dog poo off shoes, im all ears