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I`m so sick and tired of my friends who can`t handle their alcohol. The other night they dropped me 3 times while carrying me to the car.
great day! laundry done, dishes and house cleaned.... who am I kidding? been drinking since 9 am!!
It`s never your successful friends posting the inspirational quotes.
Thank God I still have 20 days to achieve my goal of "going to the gym in 2013."
When it comes to tantrums, I throw like a girl.
Go ahead caller 9!!
Girlfriend: You`re acting like a little kid. Me: What do mean, little kids can`t drink.
When someone shows you they don`t want to be a part of your life, let them go. I`m not saying you can`t make a voodoo doll of them, though.
Anyone else has a plastic bag at home full of plastic bags?
Once a month, women go completely crazy for about thirty days..
I love that little thing that you do...You know, the one where you leave.
Someone asked me today what was the toughest thing about being a parent ... I would have to say it’s the kids.
Fun Fact: Valentine`s Day was created by a woman than didn`t get what she wanted for Christmas.
Women with big breasts... ...can get a taxi on the worst days ...have a neat place to carry spare change ...have always been the center of the arts (art) ...make jogging a spectator sport ...can keep a magazine dry while laying in the tub ...have more negotiating power (with men shorter than them) ...usually can find leftover popcorn after a movie ...can always carry a little extra ...always float better ...know where to look first for lost earrings ...rarely lack for a slow dance partner ...hav
I wonder if these beers are performance enhancing. I’m feeling pretty awesome!!