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*wants to travel the world but has like 3 dollars*
Bring donuts so your coworkers will like you. Cut them in half so they will hate you again.
I wrote a song about a tortilla actually its more of a wrap.
I`m not saying not to trust the Internet, but there is an alarming discrepancy between the number of iPads I`ve won and the number of iPads I own.
No pornhub I do not want to share this video with my friends & family on Facebook
The lottery is over $400 million. Sorry poor kids, no dinner tonight...
Billion Dollar Idea: An app that deletes your phone number from other people`s phones.
If you get pulled over in a Smart Car for speeding, you should get a standing ovation, not a ticket.
Don`t do it in the Garden, they say love is blind but ur neighbor ain`t.
You couldn`t handle me even if I came with instructions.
They should just go ahead and put a volume setting on my TV that says "Eating Doritos".
Why is powdered milk called ‘Instant milk’? Actual milk is far more instant.
Be nice to me ... I may be hot one day.
I wish I was Robinson Cruso. Coz, I can have `Friday` everyday :) TGIF guys..cheers ;)
My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It`s called lunch.