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The 5 second rule for food dropped on the ground does not work if you have a 2 second dog.
Never buy the first round cause that`s when people care what they`re drinking!
You Are The Reason My Middle Finger Was Created.
Akward Moment Is When Your Twin Sister Calls You Ugly(:
"Nineteen letters long" is 19 letters long.
Its hotter than a three peckered billy goat!
Sorry, I didn’t get your message because I deleted it without listening.
Flash mobs are so not what I thought. Now I`ve gotta go find my clothes.
I`m not crazy, I`m just special!!...No, wait...Maybe I am crazy. One second...I have to talk to myself about this, hold on...
All who post weather maps on FB. You know we have the internet too, right??
Right now my glass is half empty...Hey Bartender!!!
Today I saw something that reminded me of you. But don`t worry, I flushed and everything went back to normal.
I will be forever in your debt if you would just loan me 1 million dollars.
The other night, I posted on Facebook I was going to sleep shirtless. The next day I logged on and saw 7 mosquitoes "like" this.
Money isn´t everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children.