Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Wisdom is understanding that a tomato is a fruit, but you don`t add it in a fruit salad.
I love using my GPS, problem is I can`t find it.
If you are naughty go to your room, if you wanna be naughty go to mine :)
When I`m sad, I sing...Then I realise my voice is worse than my problems.
Never make decisions when you are angry....or horny.
I wasn`t planning on giving Christmas gifts this year until I heard about those exploding Samsung G7 Note phones.
If no one from the future comes back to stop you, is it really that bad of an idea?
One advantage of growing old is you don`t have to worry about hackers stealing your nude pics out of the cloud.
Tired of those Political Ads on television?...... You may be entitled to compensation.
Maybe the cost of a barrel of oil wouldn’t be so expensive if Donkey Kong didn’t waste thousands of them in the `80s throwing them at Mario.
I`m old enough to remember being the tv remote.
Easy come, easy go describes my last 12 cases of beer and 17 relationships.
I wish I had a job where I could punch stupid motherf*ckers in the face all day.
After a night of heavy drinkin’ there’s one thing I can’t stand… and that’s up.
I automatically assume you`re fat if your Facebook picture is a car