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Transformation Tuesday! Throwback Thursday! Flashback Friday! Never underestimate a woman`s ability to find a reason to post a selfie.
Today: I`m going to be understanding, productive, and nice. WHAT? Stop laughing! I`m serious!
Apparently not checking the mail is not a valid excuse for not paying your bills. The more you know.
All I`m saying is why blame it on being lazy when you can blame it on being old?
Dude, I can`t post AND know when the light turns green. I`m pretty, not magical.
Some of the best moments in life are the ones you can’t tell anyone about.
My wife was out of town, so I had to run the morning routine by myself today. I learned a lot. For example, apparently I have two kids.
On your birthday I think the Airlines should let you exit the plane on the inflatable slide.
My neighbors wifi isn`t working. Do you think they are aware and are trying to fix it, or should I go let them know?
The only time I`ve ever used sex to get what I want is when I want sex.
I don`t hate you, it`s just, if you were on fire. I would roast marshmallows.
If you feel bad because you didn’t do well on a final, just remember someone from your hometown is still trying to become a rapper.
Secret Web Cam Test: Please nod your head yes if you can read this.
My friend said the only vegetable that could make him cry was an onion. That was before I hit him in the face with a watermelon.
They need to put more spider poison in hairspray.