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One good thing about being ugly is that when someone stares at you for too long you automatically know they wanna rob you.
Please either stop being so attractive or make out with me, it`s your choice.
Now that I`ve maxed out my 401k for the year, I`ll get a tattoo, said no one ever.
Hating everything saves countless hours of decision making.
Apparently you have to go to the gym more than once to get in shape, what the heck.
I took up the game of Golf recently. . .but I had too much trouble getting through that windmill.
This is my first lame status of the year. Enjoy!
Dora the explorer.... Y U NO GET GPS?
You’d be amazed how often I’m wrong when people say guess what.
Would it be wrong to ask a one-eyed person if it really was "all fun and games" up to that point?
is clapping his hands and stomping his feet because he is happy and he knows it.
Do Me: a favor. - Punctuation is important.
“I’m sorry” and “my bad” mean the same thing… Unless you’re at a funeral.
Some people come into your life as blessings, others come into your life as lessons.
If I lived everyday like it was my last, the body count would be staggering.